HOW I PLAY MY GAME ?

I’ve been talking to some 'dear friends' lately about the things that have been going on in my life over the past years and what will come in the near future.. I know a lot of people have a lot of things to say about me... Some keep talking about this very undramatic situation in my life... Sometimes i just wanna scream what the truth was because most people didn't know and were just talking on my behalf and not telling the truth... I don't appreciate it when people talk about my private life most especially when it's pretty obvious to those people who know me well that it's all a lie... I know that everything... whether good or bad, will always be part of the game.

Some people are pretty amazed that I'm not depressed, bitter, crazy, or all of the above. Some people like how I deal with things telling me that I am a strong woman (and some just totally hate my guts:p) and while I totally appreciate the compliment, it’s not something I expect to hear. After all, I’m not doing anything special, I’m just dealing with things the best way I know how, and continuing to live my life. Believe me, it’s been a learning process, and I’m much more sane now than I was.

"Life throws some pretty mean curveballs, sometimes two or three at a time, so you just have to take it a day at a time." There are days when I don’t deal so well. Everything becomes too overwhelming and I freak out-- feeling anxious and trapped alone in the dark. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I just sit still and shake my head, wondering how this became my life. But, I only let the pity party last so long, because when it comes down to it, I am grateful to be alive. I’m grateful to have my mom my family my friends.. I feel so blessed to have a supportive family, and great friends.

To say that I'm changed is an understatement. But that might not be a bad thing, I have learned about who I really am. The only way I know how to deal with it is by reminding myself that it could be far worse, and by trying to stay as 'positive' as possible.

We’re all going to have days, weeks, sometimes even months that would totally suck. There will be experiences and events that will challenge every fiber of our being. My best remedy to this is to maintain perspective and don’t go at it alone, I truly believe in the saying that "No man is an island." Find people who truly support you and who will actually be there for you when you need them, and please... let them be there. I know firsthand that this is easier said than done, but what I’ve discovered is that the best friends and FAMILY are the ones who can tell you to shut up and stop apologizing. There’s no secret formula, no special potion. I’m just a woman, trying to make the most out of life as I know it. If I can do it, so can you.

Godspeed.