FLY HIGH♥

freedom.

this time, full on 100% freedom.

and it never tasted this sweet.

i was happy.

i am happy.

im still happy.

maybe in my life, all the wrong decisions i ever had was all worth it. it made my life interesting, i have a reason to write about it. i have something to share. all those times i felt i was a failure gone out of the blue.

i was happy again.

i am happy. again.

someone came along, someone who makes me happy. someone who still loves me amidst the mess and damage my life has been. willing to look at me in the eye and make me feel i was loved. i was loved.

i used to make wrong decisions.

wrong time to walk on the park cause its raining. 

loved the wrong person and for the wrong reasons.

all the wrong things actually give me one thing that is right.

you. (MY LIFE)

you are the only exception.

you are my oxygen.

this love is my oxygen.

i can now breathe

NO !!! I won't be your *%&@^$ VALENTINE !

I was on my way home down to La Union from Baguio. So...  this song... "Two Is Better Than One," comes on (Cute song! Plus Taylor Swift performs it in, so you can't go wrong!). After the song ends, the radio announcer starts talking...

"Yeah, I bet you don't want to hear that song if you don't have anyone this Valentine's Day. That's depressing. You better make sure that you find someone in time for next Valentine's Day!"

OK.... first thought: what is this guy thinking  ?!!!

Then it went to: oh goodness he's right  !!! I do need to find someone to buy me chocolate.

And ended with: this is absolutely PATHETIC !

Here's my question: Why does it seem like Valentine's Day is simply about having a relationship--any kind--just so that you can say you weren't "alone" ?

Sadly, today, it seems like we are searching for one-time flings for a day just to say we have plans or were asked out rather than thinking long term.Paradigm shift here: relationships are not meant to be temporary fixes to our seemingly huge problems. Relationships are meant to last(I'm talking both friendships and romantic relationships here)
I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in or looking for a guy who just wants someone's name to fill into an empty spot in his outlook.Sound pretty straightforward?

Well, yeah. I don't know how else to put it ! Valentine's Day is about so much more than finding a dinner date. Valentine's Day is not something to be dreaded if you are "single."Love isn't about buying the perfect card or the perfect gift or going on the perfect date. Theres enough pressure in realtionships without having to live up to some romantic ideal Valentines ! People say that Febuary 14th is the most romantic day of the year, but why should there be just ONE day out of the year where loved ones buy eachother gifts and show them how much they truly love them by taking them out to dinner ?You're probably thinking i'm not romanic, but the truth is im a sucker for love , but to me an over priced bouquet of red roses doesn't say love.Love to me is waking up next to the same person every morning . When he wraps his arms around you , or when hes kissing me  cause i've had along day .Why wait for a specific day to show your loved one you love them?Give them a gift all year around, your love.

There's no doubt about it. Valentine's Day sucks. What a bunch of trite trash it is. Everyone runs around frothing, proclaiming their love and pledging their eternal allegiance to one another. It makes me sick. If someone truly cared about you, I think you'd hear it more often than once a year, presented with a heart shaped cardboard box Don't get me wrong. I'm not a single young woman bent on giving grief to everyone else who is dating. I'm a stark realist. I want someone to tell me if I'm loved of their own volition, not because some fabricated greeting card holiday sponsored by Hallmark compels themGetting a gift from your significant other on Valentine's Day almost seems dumb. If it weren't a holy day of obligation for anyone within a 50-mile radius of a fuzzy stuffed heart to run out and purchase it for their beloved, I might view it differently. I mean, everyone loves getting gifts. But it's getting a gift that really, really means something that touches the heart. More often than not, the gift that you get on this day of sick public displays of affection are nothing more than a little something to say you've upheld your end of the bargain and have fulfilled your duties.

Tatlong taon na pala ang nakalipas...

Nagdaan na pala ang ika uno ng pebrero,hindi ko man lang napansin ang mabilis na paglipas ng panahon.umabot na pala ng tatlong taon na hnd ko namamalayan kung ano ang mga nangyare. Tama ba ang mga naganap oh lahat ay biro lamang ng tadhanang tila naglalaro lamang. Mga bagay bagay ay hindi ko maipag tagpi tagpi. Tila lahat ay walang kalinawan. Aabangan ko pa ba ang kabanata ng ika apat na taon ? Hindi ko rin masabi...

SEE HOW SINGLE LIFE RUNS !

KAHIT ISA JAN WALANG TUMPAK SAKIN !! SORRY NAMAN !!
There’s only one of me, so, yeah. Single.
Second Dreaded Question that follows when someone meets me , WHY IS SHENAKED SINGLE ?

The answers are easy, really, and I don’t want to turn it into a rant of why I am not naked COMMITTED !!!

ANSWER NO. 1: I haven’t found my equal – both in interests and passion.
I LIVE for meaningful conversations and connections. I like talking about what i know, artists I listen to, and movies I watch. And believe me, looking for a guy who has the musical taste. 
I also want someone who has the same drive that I have when it comes to things that interests me. I want someone to LOL when I LOL. You see, my interests and passion are not that complicated nor obscure. I want to be with someone who can be on the same page as I am. You say opposites attract? Believe me, it doesn’t always work. Try dating someone who says reading makes his head hurt. ugh !!
ANSWER NO. 2: I still haven’t proven anything to myself and to the world.
I want to do so much with my life right now, things that I couldn’t achieve if I am in a relationship – live independently, backpack, socialize, and meet as many people as I can. Selfish as this may sound, I don’t want to be held liable for someone else’s feelings and others for mine while I achieve these goals. At least let me be CEO first! Okay, youngest AVP ;) LOL ! 
I WANT TO STAND IN MY OWN GROUND
ITS MY LIFE ANYWAYS ! I WANT TO LIVE IT 

ANSWER NO. 3: Slim pickings.
Seriously, if you know someone I can date, then by all means, set me up. If you were in my shoes—then let’s see how you pan out in the sea of 16-year-old Baby Prostitutes. It’s the curse of the Only Has Personality Going On For Her type. And sadly, most intellectually stimulating guys believe that all girls who like the internet look like Lara Croft. Wake up and smell the coffee, guys.
Contrary to popular belief, Singlehood at this age is awesome. Let me get back to you when I’m 30 years old, barren, and fuggin’ CEO, bitch.** LOL
**If the reference is lost on you, then it was nice meeting you. XD

EARLY MONEY LESSONS !

I super envy sa mga kids ngayon that as young as 6 u can hear from their mouth that they are trying to earn to treat their selves with something that they really want. Yung tipong hindi nila ipapabili sa parents nila? Wala lng na aa'maze lng ako.

Ngayon palang ako actually natututo about finances, about cash flow, savings, budget, at pati sa pag-invest. Kung natuto lang sana ako nung bata pa ako edi milyonaryo na sana ako ngayon (sayang naman!). Hindi man ako natuto noon sa tingin ko naman ay hindi pa huli ang lahat. Napaisip tuloy ako, kapag may anak na ako tuturuan ko talaga sila about finances.

Ito malamang ang iilan sa aming mga lessons:

Savings – Nung bata ako na aawa ako sa mga classmates at kalaro ko kapag sinasabi nila na hindi daw nila nahawakan ang kanilang mga “pamasko” dahil kinuha ito ng parents nila para sa kanilang “savings account.”

Ngayon malaki na ako, sana meron din akong ganun (savings account) nung bata pa ako. Anung nangyari sa mga napamasko ko? Wala na! Na gastos ko na.

Sana bata palang ako sinabi na sa akin na importante ng savings. Kapag nagkaroon na ako ng mga anak isa ito sa lessons namin. Hindi naman siguro 100% ng kanilang income/allowance ang ilalagay sa savings account, may percentage dun magagamit din nila para naman maenjoy nila.

Budgeting – Dahil napag-uusapan na rin lang naman ang gastos maganda rin na ishare ko sa kanila ang importance ng budgeting. Sa totoo lang hindi mahirap magbudget at magkwenta ng pera, ang mahirap ay ang pagstick sa budget na ginawa mo.

Nasa stage palang ako na dinidisciplina ko sarili ko na gumastos based on my budget. So far nakikita  ko ang benefits nito. At kapag sanay na ako pwede ko nang maituro ito sa mga anak ko with confidence. 

“kaya mo yan anak, sa umpisa lang yan mahirap. *wink !”

Business – Na encourage naman ako nila mommy noon na magbusiness. Naalala ko ang una kong business ay magbenta ng white rabbit candies (yung pwedeng kainin ang balat). Ang bentahan: piso-tatlo. At dahil sanay ako sa piso-dalawa na bentahan at hindi pa ako marunong magmultiply ginamit ko nalang ang simple kong logic noon. Ang bentahan: basta may piso ka, 2 plus 1. So kung ang pera mo 5 pesos meron kang 10 plus one. Talinong bata. Pinalakpakan ko sarili ko. CLAP CLAP CLAP !!

Giving – Ito ang pinakaimportanteng lesson na maituturo ko sa kanila about finances. Higit pa sa savings, budgeting, at pagtayo nila ng sarili nilang business, masimportante para sa akin ang maintindihan nila ang value ng pagbibigay.

Ito ang mga rason kung bakit:

• Natututo tayong magtiwala sa Source ng ating mga blessings.
• We will not fall in the trap of worshipping mammon (the money god).
• Blessed tayo para maging blessing sa mga taong masnangangailangan.
• We are reminded that God Himself is a giver.
• Giving encourages other people to give. Nabubuo natin ang cycle of blessing. 

Malamang madami pa akong ituturo, pero ito palang ang mga naiisip ko. MORE TO COME ! IISPIN KO MUNA ! LOL . 

What the world needs is more people who know themselves

Every day you wake up but you find no reason to get up. Then you will try to remember about what you read and heard from motivational speakers who taught you to be invincible, to unleash your potential, and to become a hero of yourself. But no matter how much effort you exert, you end up feeling frustrated for not being able to overcome your limitations. Then you realize that you are simply masking your pains, it may have desensitised your emotions but it never truly takes away the fears, the insecurities, the nightmares of your past and the uncertainties of your future. You ask yourself, “Is this all I can expect ?  who cares ?”, “Is life all about finding your place under the sun?”, “Does being happy mean being intimate with someone or being in love with a person you truly care for?” Although, I will not endevour to find answers to these questions as my experiences may be limited compared to those whose lives are spent with greater struggles.


Looking at the reviews done by techy addicts on the performance of some famous Android Tablet products that have recently gone out, they always use a comparison. The new gadgets like Samsung’s Galaxy Tab, BB’s PlayBook iphone 4 going to 5 now, etc. are simply a pastiche of features and specifications of other android phones and iPAD. Although I am not in the position to really compare these products because for one, I don’t own any of them and secondly I am overwhelmed by the features they present to the hungry techy predators out there. It scares me to even know the cost of one at this time, so I am forced to love my not-so-reliable normal phone (unless some of you would like to bless me with one of these, *clears throat !!! lol !! ) 


Well, my point is companies will always find ways to create a need for everyone to make our lives a lot easier, quainter, and much classier (talking about status symbol). It’s all about situating their excellence at the forefront of everything, getting attention and having their names embedded in the minds of the public.


If finding one’s identity under the sun is all that matters on this planet, then it is frightening to see how chaotic this world could become. I guess it has already started, or I may be wrong. I am an ordinary person with nothing much to brag about. but just like every-“sapien” else on this tilting planet I feel so concerned about not being acknowledged, remembered or simply not being important to some people. To me, that appreciation by people may somehow complete me and make my day happy, but since I don’t get that much attention I feel that I’m just hovering up in the air unnoticed by all, defying the laws of gravity and trying to create my own fantasies in a more ideal world. However, we will all leave this place and will not be able to testify the truth behind that ideal world. In our world, bad things happen to good people, lives are broken, relationships are temporary, and happiness is hardly found. We take different routes hoping that the road will be kind to us and will allow us to meet the person who can truly substantiate our existence on this planet. For others, they justify these ways to help people move on and help them strategies their lives by human efforts. I hope you will not get me wrong.


If you are struggling with identity or always wanting to find purpose in your life then you may be traversing through a wrong path. If you think your accomplishments will embellish your basic understanding about life and eternity then perhaps you have been fooled by earthly wisdom. The only way to really see the invincible is to be blinded by the glitters of this world. have a full life but it is not our task to understand the insufficiencies and incompleteness we feel every day. It has also been a struggle for me to rationalize everything to help me ease the pain of being alone in some aspects.

ILL BE BETTER ♥

i read something in this website (STANDUPGIRL.COM) just now and I have experienced so much emotion as a result.. I have cried.. gotten angry.. felt broken.. been ashamed.. felt defensive.. and I have also been disgusted.. 

What are we doing with our lives?

What did i do with my life ?? 

Personally I am wishing to break the cycle, the routine that i have been doing !

So many girls on this site have come from broken homes.. Some girls have had no one to mother them because their own mothers were or are off sleeping around..Some of them grew up watching their mothers being beaten.. Some have been or are being sexually abused by the men in their mothers lives.

Now i will try to make a stand.. Please dont get me wrong.. Tz not being prideful arrogant one but a concern woman with love..

Short perfection.. poor choices.. so many on this site are parents.. like having responsibilities to protect their children and not drag them through the same rubbish that they have been through.. tell me if im wrong.. but i can feel them.. 

sooner or later.. im gonna be a mom.. but im thinking.. will I find it so hard to teach my daughter to act like a lady because I never acted like one ? I want to and should teach my daughter to be modest and pure but how can I do that if im not even modest and pure ?

I want to and should teach my son to respect women, but how will I do that if im showing them that men can come and go as they please and even hit me if they feel like it ?

I should teach my kids that drugs and alcohol can and will ruin their lives, but how can I do that if im just gonna leave them at the sitters house and go out clubbing and get high ?

When my kid will say a bad word that they learned from me, ill tell him that it is bad? What, is there a certain age when it becomes ok to talk like that ?

WILL I BE PERFECT ??

no !

my mom once said.. 

"set your life on a new path TODAY ! Don't mess around with things that hurt you drugs, alcohol"

If you have parents and you think they suck because they are always "preaching"at you and they "dont let you have any fun" reconsider what they may have learned from their mistakes..If you are gonna do it still.. know ur limits.. dont try over doing it.. (that was me for a while)

If your parentS dont care about what you are doing and they let your boyfriend live with you, or what ever, you can still make the choice to live your life responsibly.. Just because its allowed does not mean its ok!

If you are a mom, in and out of boyfriends, going to the bars for a little fun please think about when your kids get bigger they need you to set a good example..

Imagine your 15 yr old daughter telling you shes pregnant and had AIDS and that she doesnt know who the father is! 

I am so glad that someone cared enough to tell me the truth and where my life was going.. 

I hope I didnt hurt anyone with this but I do hope that it woke someone up cuaseim happy now..

IM NOT PERFECT.. BUT AT LEAST IM TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT NOW..

IM TRYING TO CLEAN UP NOW.. IM TRYING TO BREAK UP THE CYCLE..

I HOPE I CAN DO IT..

NOT TOTALLY CLEAN.. BUT AT LEAST... IM TRYING !!